Andromeda Meets Parisindy
by RagdollStuffy
Summary: AU, Parisindy trips and finds herself onboard the Andromeda. Need I say more? Please Read and review. CHAP 14 UP! COMPLETED!
1. Andromeda Meets Parisindy

**TITLE: **Andromeda meet Parisindy, or Uh-Oh  
**  
AUTHOR: RagdollStuffy**

**RATING: G - PG**

**DISCLAIMER: No money was received or exchanged.  
I do not own Andromeda or any of its Characters.  
This is purely for fun. If I did own Andromeda then I wouldn't be here right now.**

**SUMMARY: Parisindy finds herself onboard the Andromeda... need I say more?**  
**  
NOTES: Inspired by somthing Parisindy said. Also, Paris, if you aren't a girl and you aren't old enough to drive... then this is a alternate universe D.  
**

Parisindy was walking from a nameless store to her car. Weighed down by her 24 pack of some nameless product (somthing like Sparky-Cola..), she wasn't looking where she was going and fell flat on her face when she tripped on a boulder (okay a little bit smaller) . She stood up dazed and waited till she stopped seeing blue. After shaking her head once or twice, she blinked at what she saw. The Andromeda's Slipstream Core. "I musta hit my head harder then I thought," Paris mumbled. Opening one of the nameless soda product, she took a few sips, hoping to clear her vision.

"Who are you?" Rommie, the ships holographic avater flashed in front of her.

"AAAHHH!" Parisindy was so startled that the soda flew out of her hands when she jumped 3 feet in the air.

'Thump, splish, glob-blip-blip-blip-blip...' that was the soda can emptying its contents onto the Slipstream core controls.

"ROMMIE!" Paris walked up to Rommie and touched her... Paris's hand pass right through her. "OMGOSH, your reall! I mean your not real, your a hologram of course but your reall! Not computer generated, oh, no, wait, yes you are. Arggh. But still, your here .. real!"

"Who are you?" Rommie asked again as Parisindy heard footsteps coming from the doorway.

"Parisindy, the greatest Andromeda Fanfiction Writer!" Paris said proudly. It was then Paris noticed that her can was on top of the Core controls, "Oops, sorry 'bout that." She headed over to pick up the can.

"Stop right there," Dylan, Tyr, Harper, and Beka all stood in front of the door with their various differnet guns leveled at her."Who are you? What is your buisness aboard my ship?"

- - - - - - -

TBC  



	2. Hello, who are you?

Parisindy stood there for a moment at a loss for words. "I... I... I..., HARPER! OMGOSH, You are soooo adorable close up." Paris ran over to Harper and gave him a bear hug. "I have wanted to do that for so loooong, this must be the best dream I ever had! I never wanna wake up again!" She backed up for a moment, finally realising the guns were still pointed at her. "Sheesh, my dreams always have to be so over drammatic. Oh, this is a great idea for a new FanFic. Or I could make a nice romantic one between Tyr and Beka. That would be funny... especially if Harper trys to be the matchmaker, no OrionWolf already did that ..." Paris was cut sort by Dylan.

"What the hell are you talking about! I'll ask only one more time, who the hell are you, and what are you doing on my ship!"

"Shessh, I don't ever remmeber Dylan being Mr. Grumpy-Pants. And figments of my imagination shouldn't yell at me." Paris stuck her tongue out at Dylan, earning a snicker from Harper and a smirk from Beka and Tyr. "Well, since I probably have a concusion, it will take me a little while before I wake up. I might as well tell you my name so I can get cozy." Paris leaned over to get another soda. Opening it she introduced herself. "I'm Parisindy, the greatest Andromeda FanFic Writer, as I told Rommie. Most people call me Paris or Indy." Before Dylan could say anything Paris started up again. "I know, your Dylan, the sappy, idealistic bimbo. The High Guard Captian of the Andromeda Ascendant, trying to restore the Commenwealth. Yak-yak-yak, blah-blah-blah, B-O-R-I-N-G! You're Beka Valentine, freighter pilot, the person who got Dylan out of the stupid black hole." She pointed to Tyr, "You are a ex-mercenary, Kodiak pride, out of Victora by Barbarossa. And seriously, every time you say that it makes me want to laugh..." Paris smirked for a moment before continuing, "You are the genius, the brains behind the crew. Seamus Zelazny Harper. The incredibly bright mind that created Rommie, the ship's avatar android. The most cute, handsome, adorable guy on the whole ship." Parisindy took a sip before she continued, "Which reminds me, where is Rommie, Trance, and Rev?"

Still slighty dazed after what Parisindy said, Dylan answered her, "Rommie is in Machine Shop 17 having matinence done. Trance is in Hydroponics Bay, and Rev left the Andromeda a few months ago on a Missionary trip."

"Okay, that explains why they aren't here... so my mind must have me in late season 1 or early season 2. Well, hopefully while I'm here I'l be able to come up with another awesome FanFic to stun my readers." Paris stepped over to grab another soda and sat down in a comfortable postion resting against two walls.

- - - - - - -

TBC


	3. I'm awake?

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M AWAKE!" Parisindy yelled.

Since the last chapter, the crew of the Andromeda have tried to explain to Paris that she arrived from an alternate universe through a tesseract. Probably the after effects of the machine in Ouroborus.

"Look at these sensor readings from just before you arrived," Rommie showed her a screen with mutliple bars, all at low levels. "These sensor readings are from the point when you arrived." The screen changed to show all the bars close to the top of the screen. "Those readings are consist with a tesseract."

"NO WAY! My mind is just playing a trick on me... wait, wait, wait. Tyr, come here," Paris motioned for Tyr, who was standing gaurd near the door of the slipstream core. Seeing his relutance, Parisindy said " Oh, come of it Tyr, I don't bite."

"If you have teeth, then you most likely bite." Tyr replied, but came over anyway.

"Pinch me."

"What?"

"What, are you deaf or somthin'? I said pinch me, if I feel it then I must not be dreaming." Tyr seemed to be think it over, and finally pinched her.

"OW! I said pinch me, not rip my skin off! Sheesh!" Paris stepped away from Tyr, rubbing her arm.

"Sorry," Tyr said as unconviencingly as possible.

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TBC - sorry that was so short... I got booted off.


	4. Duh, of course I know you

After realizing she was awake, Paris got a bit more exited than she was at the begining.

"Oh Pwease! I really, REALLY wanna see machine shop 17!" Paris gave Harper the most adorable, huge, bambi eyes.

Harper took a step back, this was new to him. Having a hottie babe go after him. That only happened when he had something they wanted, and that usually was a bad thing. Rommie flashed in front of him, interupting his thoughts.

"I have run a scan on Parisindy, there are no weapons or dangerous substances on her. I believe Dylan would be happy to give you a tour Parisindy."

"You can call me Paris, and why can't Harper give me a tour," she started pouting.

"If you are a threat to the ship then," Dylan leaned closer to Paris and whispered so Harper couldn't hear, "Harper might not be able to stop you. He has a track record of getting knocked out."

Paris giggled, "Yeah, I know. Well, I guess you can give me a tour, I really would like to see the rest of the ship."

Paris, Dylan, and Tyr started their tour of the ship heading towards the Ops Deck.

"So, how do you know so much about us?" Dylan asked.

"I watch Andromeda on the Sci-Fi channel, and I own season 1 through 4 on DVD."

"Sci-Fi channel?"

"Yeah, its a channel on T.V. that shows most Science Fiction series. Every once and awhile they have a Andromeda marathon. Usually 6 or more episodes. I really like the episode when Beka is sparing with Tyr, and she ends up on top of Tyr. Then you walk in and you think they were doing somthing other than sparring, it was soooo hilarious. I think that was 'Be All Your Sins Remembered', yeah.. the episode the Bobby takes over the Maru. Oo, or the time that Harper is dancing to the Band music right before to Andromed gets swallowed by that huge space monster. Season 2, episode 'Belly of the Beast'. Or when you and Trance, Beka and Tyr, Harper and the androids are dancing at the end of the episode."

"Interesting, but how do I know that you haven't been monitoring the ship for along time, and now you have come to take it over?"

"Well, I know that you were engaged to Sarah. That Gaheris Rhade acutually didn't betray you, but had to in order to correct the timeline. Oops... you aren't supose to find out about that for a year or two more, that happens after Tyr leaves the ship. Dang... give TMI to you guys. Shuting up now." Dylan was about to ask another question, but Parisindy cut him off again. "That reminds me, there is a Andromeda Marathon tonight, 12 episodes, all great ones. How long do you think it will take to get me back to my universe and my time? Don't get me wrong, I love being on this ship, but I know your track record. I'd rather not be here if the Andromeda meets one of your many enemies."

"You might want to ask Harper that, and speaking of Harper, here is Machine Shop 17." Dylan stopped and the door opened to show a huge mess. It looked like a trash compacter exploded in the room. There was bits of machine strewn across most of the tables, crumpled up Sparky-Cola cans littered around the floor, and leftover meals scattered throughout the room.

'CRASH, BANG'

"Ow, that hurt," Harper's voice came from a corner of the room under a pile of sheet metal, tubes, and machine components.

"Need any help?" Paris said as she walked over to the moving mass of metal.

"Nah, I'm fine," Harper clumsly crawled out of the pile. Other than the stray cut or bruise, he looked fine. " I could use some help cleaning this up."

"What, just that," Paris indicated the pile, "Or the whole messed up room, I mean I knew you were messy. But I had no idea you were this bad."

Harper looked from Dylan to Tyr, and seeing their obivious attempts at smothering a smile he replied, "You guys are all critics. At least it's not as bad as a junk yard."

"Nope, its worse," Parisindy snickered.

Harper glared at her.

----------------

TBC - Sorry for the sort chapters.


	5. You owe me a Sparky

Harper glared at her.

Parisindy stuck her tongue out.

"Ya know, some of this mess is your fault. If you hadn't spilt that Sparky knockoff brand on the Slip Core controls, half of these parts wouldn't be here. I had to dismantle the whole damn board. Plus I have to replace most of the compontents." Seeing a frown from Dylan, Harper continued, "I made a quick fix, but it will only keep the Slipstream core from over-loading. Meaning that if we want to Slip before I get it fixed, we'll all need to go to the Maru. So, in layman's terms, WE ARE A FREAKIN' SITTING DUCK!"

"How long do you think it will take to fix Harper?" Dylan asked.

"One hour at the most, but if it was anyone else it would be twelve. That's because I am a freakin' genius!" Harper finished a can of Sparky-Cola and proceeded to open another one. "Of course in one hour, anything could happen on this ship."

"Yeah... well, good-luck with that cutey," and with that Paris bounced out of the room, followed closely by Tyr.

"Have you figured out how to get her back to her own universe and time yet Mr. Harper?"

"I think so, if the slipstream is calibrated precisely right, and we get Beka to drive, I might be able to plot a route back to her universe. You're gonna havta call her back for scans. Because she is from a different universe, she should have a slightly different energy signature."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do." Dylan turned and left Machine Shop.

15 minutes later

"Stop fidgeting Paris," Harper said while holding the scanner.

"I can't help it, I'm bored. Very bored. You wanna play a game?"

"Sure, but if I win then you have to SIT STILL!" Harper almost yelled.

"Okay, do you have a deck of cards? I feel like poker." Paris said sweetly.

Harper's face fell, he was losy at poker, and she probably knew about it. "Do we hav'ta play that?" With a devilish grin, Parisindy nodded. "Fine," Harper rummaged around for a deck of cards in one of the many drawers in Shop 17. "Here," he produced a unopened pack from the fifth drawer he looked through. Harper batted Paris's hand away from the deck, "Ah,ah,ah! What do you get if you win?"

"Weeeellll, you have to give me a Sparky-Cola, and you have to drink one of my soda's. Also, if I win, I'll sit still so you can run your scan."

'Now I have to win, can't let her get her hands on my Sparky', Harper thought. "You're on." He handed her the deck so she could shuffle. "Best outta three wins."

"Okay."

The first game Harper won with a pair of Aces to Parisindy's pair of Threes.

The second game Parisindy won with four Queens to Harper's three of kind, Kings.

The third and final game Parisindy won with a Royal Flush to Harper's four of a kind, Threes.

"Okay, pay up." Parisindy handed him one of her can's and waited for one of his can's.

"Do I really have to?"

"Well, unless you never want to see," Paris looked around to see if she could grap anything of value to him and hold it hostage for a Sparky can, "this again, you'll give me a Sparky-Cola." Paris grabbed onto Harper's nanowelder that he left on the table, and ran out of the room yelling, "Tell Rommie if you wanna negotiate the hostage situation."

------------------------

Hearing Harper's footsteps pounding behind her made her run even faster. Paris dashed through the corriders, narrowly missing Beka, but heard a loud thud when Harper collided with her. Paris slid down a few ladders and crawled through various conduits, till she finally stopped near what looked like a disused room. She ran inside and plopped down on the bed, trying to catch her breath. "Rommie?... don't ... tell... Harper... where... I... am." Paris stopped for a moment, "Contact me when he wants to talk about my Sparky-Cola, and his nanowelder."

------------------------

TBC


	6. Mmmmm, Pie

Harper untangled himself from Beka. "I can't believe that she did that! I mean of all the things to hold hostage it had to be that," Harper said fuming.

"What happened?"

"We, uh, were playing poker.." Beka cut him off.

"Lemme guess, strip poker."

"No, no Boss, just regular poker. If I won she would have to sit still so I could scan her, and if she won, I'd have to give her a Sparky. Weell, I lost, but I uh, didn't wanna give her a Sparky." Beka gave him that Omgosh-you-are-fighting-over-some-little-thing-you-idiot. "Hey, I have a very limited supply of them. Anyway, she is holding my Nano-welder hostage till I paid her."

"You can be sooo childish somtimes Harper, you know you need to fix the Slip Core controls. Hurry it up and give her the Sparky."

"Alright..." Harper mumble somthing under his breath so Beka couldn't hear. "Rommie, where is Paris?"

Rommie's holo-avatar poped in front of Harper. "She instructed me not to tell you Harper."

"Tell her I'll pay her what I owe her."

Rommie paused for a moment, "She says she will meet you in Machine Shop 17."

-----------------------------------------

Parisindy finally had the trap in place. She walked over to the consul and hooked all the moniters around the ship up to the sensors in the room. The next person, hopefully Harper, would get a very big surprise. Paris double checked everything to makes sure it would work. "Rommie, where is Harper? I'm waiting."

"Harper is near your position." Andromeda's voice rang out.

The door to the machine shop opened, and before Paris could realize that it wasn't Harper, her trap went off. A string that was attached to one of the doors tighten when the door opened. It was attached to a cup of small, round, marble-like, metal pieces. They fell out and landed in a bucket that was hanging half off the floor. It shot towards the ground, pulling the metal rod that was holding it up in the air, down to the ground. That caused a whipped-cream pie to rocket towards the door where Tyr was standing. Needless to say, it wasn't very pretty.

------------------------------------

TBC


	7. Pink isn't your color

"Dude, I hade no idea you were gonna step through the door before Harper." Parisindy squeaked. If looks could kill, Paris would have melted into a sub-atomic puddle right there.

Tyr growled at her, replying "Next time make sure it is Harper that walks into one of your 'tricks'"

At that moment Harper came through the door looking mad, "Parisindy, you better not have hurt my..." His sentence died in his throat when he saw Tyr. "Oh. My. Gosh. Tyr... you, you got pied!" Haper tried to stiffle a grin, but that didn't quite work.

Suddenly over the intership comn, "What the heck are you down in the machine shop?" Dylan's voice said in a slightly amused tone. "Someone hooked up the viewscreen to show what was happening there, I must say it was amusing." If you listened carefully you could hear Beka laughing in the backround. "Do you have any idea how long it will take to get Beka to stop laughing? Make sure you clean up that mess, Hunt out."

Harper took a step forward to grab his nanowelder and set off the second trap. His foot pulled a near invisible string that was attached to a few pulleys which eventually led to a bucket of special permanent paint. Paris watched as the bucket emptyed its content on a unsupecting engineer. The permanent paint had very unique properties. Depending upon the chemical make-up of the substance that is landed on, would determine to color of the paint. Fortunatley it doesn't show up on metal. The chemicals of Harper's shirt turned the white paint a lite pink color, the chemicals of Harper's skin changed the paint to a very bright, neon green, and the chemicals of Harper's hair turned the paint a bright red, bordering on neon. This time it was Tyr that was laughing, and pretty soon Dylan's voice came over the comn.

"Harper, you're out of uniform, and pink really isn't your color." Dylan laughed, "Beka is laughing so hard she can't breath, though I can't blame her."

Harper glared up at the ceiling, "Oh ya, thank's for your support. This stuff better wash out..." Harper stopped at the look he got from Paris. "It will washout... won't it?" Paris shifted slightly under his stare.

"In three months or so, maybe four, and Tyr, um, there is some of that paint in the pie." Paris cleared her throat, "I better be off to my quarters now, good-bye." With that she bolted out of the room.

"Look at me! I'm a freakin' leprechaun!" Harper looked over at Tyr, who was wiping the pie off his hair and face. "At least I don't have that hair color Tyr, here," Harper gave Tyr a mirror.

"What has she done to my HAIR!" Tyr pratically screamed. Tyr's hair had turned from its normal dark brown to a bright electric blue. The part of his skin that had paint on it had turned lovely purple.

-------------------------------

TBC ... Mwhahahaha


	8. Glued and Feathered

"Wow, and I thought my hair looked weird," Harper snickered.

"This isn't funny, little man!" Tyr said in a rage.

Andromeda was watching this entire situation since it started, and she deceided to tell Tyr after he calmed down a bit. After a minute he stopped fumming. She sent her holo-avatar to tell him the bad news.

"Tyr? I thought you would like to know this, Paris set the sensors to record all the data and send it out in a wide beam transmission. I'm sorry, I can't stop it from transmitting." At this lastest revalation, Tyr's face turned a color to match parts of his skin.

"I. AM. GOING. TO. KILL. HER!" Tyr screeched in barely contained rage. He stomped out of the machine shop in search of Parisindy leaving a stunned Rommie, and a amused Harper.

"I... did he just.. screech?" Rommie asked Harper.

"I think so, I better find Parisindy and hide her from Tyr. This is the first time I've ever seen him lose it, and I sure as hell don't wanna be her right now." Harper ran out of shop 17.

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Parisindy ran around another corner tring to avoid the rapidly aproaching Tyr. Earlier she had stopped by the a disused crew quarter, and then a machine shop, grabbing some superglue from a drawer. Stopping to catch her breath in what looked like the Ops room, she put her lastest plan into action. Reaching back for the tube of glue that was in her pocket, she pulled it out and started spreading it around.

----------------------------------------------

Tyr could tell Paris was nearby, she was either in Ops or nearby in a room or corrider. Slowly he crept towards Ops, where the door was already wide open. Expecting another attack, Tyr was on full alert. He could hear her, near a corner of the room. He glanced in quickly, and postive that she was not armed and there were no traps such as the last one. Sweeping the room once more with his gaze he started across the room, intent on getting Paris back.

"Hey Tyr, no hard feeling, right?" Paris said nervously.

"Wrong." Tyr had almost finsihed his walk across the room.

"Your loss," Parisindy pulled a string that was in her hand, causing a medium sized box to fall from the ceiling. It dumped it's content all over Tyr. Using Rommie ECS Eviromental Control System Paris sent the air vents to keep the feathers from falling on Tyr's hair.

Tyr coughed, disturbing the white fluffy down that had fallen around him. "Feathers? You should have chosen a better weapon," he said with a smirk as he brushed the feathers off of him. His smirk disappeared when he realized that it was having no effect, and the feathers weren't moving. "What?" Tyr was speechless.

"Technically you've been 'Glued and Feathered'. It's very, very strong glue, and I happen to have the only solvent to it," Paris held up a small metalic tube. At this, Dylan, Rommie, Beka, Trance, and a last minute dignitary entered the Ops Deck "Hey Tyr, say hello to Archduke Charlemagne Bolivar!"

---------------------------------------------

TBC!


	9. Fix it, Please?

"Hey Tyr, say hello to Archduke Charlemagne Bolivar!" Parisindy looked past Tyr and waved.

"Don't try that old tactic on me, it will never work..." Tyr was interrupted by a loud clanging, his head turned slightly away from Paris and saw a air vent cover fall to the floor. A pair of boots emerge followed by cargo pants, a pink top, and a very green Harper. Now at that angle that Harper and Tyr were standing, they didn't see the Archduke yet.

After setting his eyes on Tyr, he started laughing till his sides hurt. Once he finally calmed down he ask, "What happened to you Tyr, fight a goose and loose?"

"Dude, Harper? What were you doing in the air duct thingy?"

"Well, Rommie told me we had some visitors onboard and Dylan was going to be around here. There is no way I was going to be seen by some grumpy old Ambassador like this, a lime green Haper-sicle with a cherry on top. I would have never heard the end of it. Anyway.. what are we standing here for, we gotta hurry before someone sees us. I dunno Tyr, you look better now that ..." this time Harper stopped talked. "What's so funny Paris?" Harper looked down at Paris, who was giggling so hard you couldn't even hear a sound. She pointed behind them. Both Tyr and Harper turned at the same time and collided into each other. A collective round of 'Ow's could be heard. Eventually they looked in the general direction of the door to Ops Deck.

I don't think there has ever been a more shocked Nieztschean in the whole galaxy. Tyr's mouth was hanging open with wide eyes. Harper's skin color changed from a healthy neon to a pale green. But the most hilarious scene was that near the door. Archduke Charlemagne Bolivar was sitting near a wall in tears from laughing so hard. Beka had turned red from trying to laugh quietly so as not to alert Tyr or Harper of her presence. Dylan and Rommie were trying to hold it together in a more or less High Guard manner, failing quite miserably. Trance was a very deep shade of purple, and after realizing that they knew she was there, she let loose with a round of high pitched giggles.

"Um, Tyr, I thinking we should leave before something else goes wrong." Tyr just nodded as they picked themselves up and made a quick exit through the Ops doorway.

-------------------------------------------

Once safely away from Parisindy and the Giggle Group, Harper thought only one thing. 'I have GOT to fix the slipstream generator controls.' "You know, if this keeps up, Andromeda will be in sparkly colored poka-dots, and Dylan zebra colored. Now Tyr, I know you probably want revenge or something.." Harper was cut off by Tyr.

"If my first attempt at revenge resulted in this," Tyr motioned to his feathered body, "then how do you suppose my next attempt will turn out? If you need any assistance in completing the repairs, inform me. I would be more than glad to get rid of her."

Andromeda's Holo-Avatar popped in front of them. "Harper, you look green, are you sick? Maybe its because of the overgrown chicken with blue hair standing next to you?" She paused a moment before continuing, " I think this is a perfect time for a picture."

"NO! Rommie, please, I'm begging you! What if some hot dame came onboard and likes me! I know you'll show her the picture..."

Holo-Andromeda smirked, "Thanks for the idea Harper, I'll keep that in mind." Suddenly turning serious Holo-Andromeda added, "Please hurry and fix the slipstream controls. I want to be ready if anyone attacks."

"Tell me something I don't know! I'm on my way to fix it, it'll be up and running in no time baby." Harper ran towards Shop-17 to continue repairs.

--------------------------------

TBC... I promise :)


	10. Paris Hair Saloon

"There we go Rommie, good as new!" Harper finished the last adjustment on the controls for slipstream. "It's better than new now." Harper excitement faded, he was actually going to miss Parisindy. She was very smart, and devious. Truth be told, it was the funniest two days since he came aboard Andromeda. After what happened in Ops, she came back to the machine shop and apologized both Harper AND Tyr. She said she would try and a find paint remover that would clean up him and Tyr. Paris still wouldn't give Tyr the glue solvent. When he threatened to find it himself, even if he had to tear the ship apart, she just laughed and told him that she had more traps set up. Paris said she would give it to Tyr when she left, as long as he didn't bother her. That made him leave the room quickly. We started talking about various things, played a few rounds of poker. Drank some Sparky and her 'offbrand' Sparky, it really wasn't bad, almost excatly like Sparky-Cola. She learned how to play Yesh-e-dono, and showed me how to play a game called Gin-rummy, or Rummy. All-in-all, it was pretty fun. But she had to go back to her own universe and time. "Well, tell Dylan I got it fixed. I'll tell Paris," Harper trudged out of the Engine room and headed towards Paris's quarters. Half-way there Harper nearly ran into her, and barely dogded a metal bucket full of foul smelling black goo. "Ewww, whats in that?"

"This stuff should remove the dye on your skin," Paris indicated the bucket-o-goo. "Of course it might remove your skin... so I'll need to test it out on something that isn't metal, but not organic."

"My top, I can't wear it if its pink anyway." Harper lead the way to his room.

------------------------------------------

"Hold still!" "Stop fidgiting!"

"I can't help it, this junk stink horrible, and it stings. Ow! Why couldn't Tyr go first?" Harper whined.

"Because he needs to keep the solvent on for thirty minutes in order for the feathers to come off, then I can apply the paint remover." Paris grabbed a large fistfull of black gooey-tar-like substance from the bucket with a gloved hand and plopped it in his hair. Quickly, she rubbed it in. "I hope this doesn't make you go bald... mehehehe."

Harper winced, "It better not.. or I'll never hear the end of it. Are you just about done?"

"Okay dude, just let that set for about one hour, then come back. Just be glad that paint didn't soak through your top."

"Yea, well, Tyr should be done plucking his feathers, so I'll send him in to get a goo bath." Harper slid off the chair he was on top of and left the room. Moments later Tyr appered, completely feather free, but still had electric blue hair.

"Tyr, I'm gonna have to undo your braid thingys so I can get all the dye out."

"I know, I also know you know what will happen if you do. Just get it over with, this has been humiliating enough." Tyr said in a rather gruff voice.

Parisindy worked quickly on undoing the braids. Pretty soon his hair was undone and wavy. Paris grabbed some goop and plopped it on Tyr's hair. After working it in every strand of his hair, she put some gunk on the spots of purple on his skin."Come back in a hour so I can wash your hair out, I have to use this stuff," Paris hend up a small container. Tyr just grunted and left the room. Some five minutes later Harper came in, totally pitch black.

"Can you hurry and wash this crap out of my hair, I'm itchy," whined Harper.

Paris stuck her tongue out, "Lean over the sink and stop complaining." Paris picked one of the containers that she had and poured it on Harpers hair. Pushing Harper forward, she turned on the water and got all the black tar stuff out. She gave Harper a towel to dry his hair with, "Go to your quarters and wash the stuff off the rest of your body. I'll call for Tyr myself."

"Hey, are you sure it'll happen?" Harper asked curious.

Paris, knowing what he was refering to nodded. "If you want I'll have Rommie take a picture and show it to you in your room."

"Awesome, thanks," After flashing her a dimple showing smile he left. He gave a smug smile when he heard Parisindy talk to Andromeda.

--------------------------------

"Tyr, I have to dry AND comb out your hair so I'll know if I got all the dye out." Paris said innocently.

"I can do that in my quarters," Tyr had almost left the room before Paris said something that made shivers go down his spine.

"I have more dye," Paris said with a devilish smile.

"You wouldn't dare," Tyr said turning to face her.

"You know I would."

"Fine." Tyr sat back down on the chair.

---------------------------------

Paris smiled smugly, "There we go Tyr, I finished, no trace of dye. Here, take a look." Paris handed Tyr a mirror.

"You.. will.. pay.." Tyr glared at Paris before stomping out of Shop-13

"Did you get that Andromeda?" Paris asked the air around her. Rommie suddenly flashed in front of her.

"Yes, I believe I got his good side to," Rommie turned a nearby screen on. A image was called up of Tyr. Shock etched on his face, hair in a huge fluffy fro with small pink bows littering the top. The bows spelled out 'Tyr' on the top of his head.

--------------------------------

TBC


	11. Plot holes, eh?

By the time Harper finally stopped laughing, he pulled himself together and looked serious, "You know he's gonna get you back for that right? There are like only two, no, three, um wait, four things that you should never make fun of about Tyr. One is his Pride. Two is his Genetics. Three is his personal pride. And last, but not least, is Four. Never mess around with Tyr's hair. You only got was with number three because if he attempted to get you back right away, you more than likely would have ingured his pride further. That, and you were the only one who could remove the feathers, and paint. But you played that card a bit to soon, and, um, you won't be in safety till we get you back to your own time. But trust me, I'm great at hidding from Tyr, he'll never find..." Harper trailed off as the entire room seemed to flash blue just as Tyr entered.

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Soon after the flash ended, Tyr, Harper, and Paris found themselves in a maroonish colored room. "What the freaking hell just happened?" Harper asked to no one in particular.

"Hmm, maroon deck plates, maroon walls, the interior decorator must have been a lunatic, eh? I mean seriously, this just is too much of the solid, bland color. Hurts the eye's, eh?"

"Why are you saying, eh, after every sentence now?" asked Harper.

"Its a plot hole, eh?"

"After we get out from where ever we are, you will feel my revenge..." Tyr mumbled. "Harper, do you recognize any of this? I have not come across anything of this type in my life."

"Uh, sorry to dissapoint Tyr, but nope. If Dylan where here he might know. But that would be a slim chance, I already know most of the ship in the database that Andromeda has."

"You know, eh? I might have seen something like this before, eh? From a Australian Science Fiction show, eh? Called Farscape, or something like that..."

"Hey, who the frell are you, what how do you know the name of my module?"

All three heads turned in unision to find the source of the new voice. The new person looked very ticked off, and had a rather wicked looking gun in his hand...

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TBC

A/N Dun Dun Duuuuun... Arent I awful.. Yes, I am. Do not worry, I shall Update rather soon.


	12. Huh? I'm confused

Last time on Andromeda:

"Hey, who the frell are you, and how do you know the name of my module?"

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Tyr yanked out his gauss gun from it's holder at lightning speed while Harper and Paris ducked behind him.

"I'm from -Insert Town Name Here-, it's on Earth, eh?" Paris said from behind Tyr.

"Earth, like hell you are. Damn PeaceKeepers," John Chricton cocked his head to the left and yelled, "PILOT! Tell Aeyrn and D'Argo to get down here, we got three PeaceKeepers."

"Moya and I detected no signs of any Peace Keeper Patrols around here. I scanned the room and I'm getting interferance. I can see them, but they don't show up on any scans."

"Special Ops Pk's, oh yip... What the hesmana?" John looked closer at the trio. "Pilot, do you see that?"

"What? Whats wrong, eh?"

"Um, Paris, I can see through your shirt." Harper said stepping away from her.

Paris slapped Harper across the face.

"I didn't mean it that way, I meant I can see through you to the other side... of the room."

Parisindy looked down at her hands, "They look fine to me, eh? Dude, you're the one disapearing, not me."

Tyr turned around, still keeping his gun trained on John, "What are you two talking about, you both are disapearing." Tyr turned back forward, then did a double take. "WHY ARE YOU DISAPEARING?"

"The million dollar question, eh? Probably has somthing to do with the fact that this isn't our universe, eh?"

"I was going to say that," Harper complained.

"How do we get back," Tyr had already lowered his weapon since John had dropped his.

"I dunno, eh? Ask mister high I.Q. over there."

"Who me?"

"No, you."

"Me?"

"Yes you."

"Why me?"

"Because you just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Gieco, obviously you're the smart one."

"Okay, well then, just do whatever it was you were doing right before you came here. Now if you'll exscue me, Rygel is in the food stores." With that D'Argo turned to leave.

"When did he come in?" Harper asked.

"I have no idea." John answered confused, "And how did you know he saved money on car insurance?"

"He looked happy," Tyr replied.

"Well, lets hope he's right because this confersation is to confusing, and filled with too many comma's."

"Okay then, Mr. Wicked-Looking-Gun and Tyr leave the room. Tyr, enter in about three minutes, okay? Eh?"

After they left, harper turned and cleared his throat. "You know he's gonna get you back for that right? There are like only two, no, three, um wait, four things that you should never make fun of about Tyr. One is his Pride. Two is his Genetics. Three is his personal pride. And last, but not least, is Four. Never mess around with Tyr's hair. You only got was with number three because if he attempted to get you back right away, you more than likely would have ingured his pride further. That, and you were the only one who could remove the feathers, and paint. But you played that card a bit to soon, and, um, you won't be in safety till we get you back to your own time. But trust me, I'm great at hidding from Tyr, he'll never find..." Harper trailed off as the entire room seemed to flash blue just as Tyr entered.

- New Place -

"Dude, that was wicked awesome, eh?" Parisindy said while looking around the room they 'transported' into.

"Yea, well, anymore of that and I'll see last weeks lunch."

"Ehem, excuse me, what are you doing on my T.A.R.D.I.S?"

"Oh crap," Harper whined as Tyr brought his gun back up once more.

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TBC ... )


	13. Wasnt as easy as I thought

"What are you doing in my Tardis?"

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"Ow, my brain hurts." Paris said as she sat down on a nearby chair. "Doctor Who, eh? I don't suppose you'll be able to help us get back to our own universe eh?"

"Well, that depends, is your friend going to lower his weapon?"

"Can you get us back?" Tyr asked menacingly.

"Will you lower your weapon?"

Tyr slowly lowered it, "Get us back," he demanded.

"Okay, yes, well saying 'Get us back' and doing it is something entirely different." The Doctor walked over to the TARDIS'es console and started pressing a few buttons. "Hmm, very interesting, it seems that you have no mass." He looked up over at them. "And you're disappearing quite rapidly," he pressed a combination of different buttons. "That should stop you from jumping universes for the time being. The only help I can offer is quite limited. I don't believe that TARDIS'es can cross universes, but I shall try. If you could give me the specifics of your universe I might just be able to jerry-rig something up."

After about an hour of trying to remeber every historical fact about thier universe, Harper and Tyr let Parisindy tell the Doctor about hers.

"Oh, that will make this a whole lot more simpler. Harper and Tyr, I have reason to believe that your 'verse is two way from mine, and one away from Paris's. It seems that you've only hopped to the next universe each time. All that I'll need to do is reverse the polarity of the TARDIS'es power source flow and ta-da, you'll be back home."

A small explosion came from under the console after the Doctor tried to change universes. "Darn, looks like it wasn't as easy as it would seem."

"Need any help Doctor?" Harper asked.

"No thanks," The Doctor waved Harper away, "Why don't you all explore the TARDIS and I'll find you once I'm done fixing the time rotor.

"Sounds good to me, eh? What about you Tyr?" Parisindy asked, halfway in the door that lead to the inner workings of the TARDIS. Tyr just growled and followed Harper and Paris.

After walking for a few minutes, Harper stopped in his tracks. "Look at that!" He exclaimed.

Paris and Tyr stared in shock at what they saw.

"Oh my god, it's hideous," Parisindy said, not being able to tear her eyes away from the hideously grotusque image in front of them

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Dun,dun,duuuun. What was it they saw that shocked even Tyr? Find out in the next chapter...


	14. No, not her!

"Oh my god, its hideous!"

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"My eyes, my eyes," Harper said with his eyes half closed in pain.

"Who ever made that coat should be dragged out and shot, eh?"

"And I thought Harper's tops were bad."

The object of their attention was none other then the 6th doctor's old over coat. The one with the horrible patches, stripes, polka dots, zig-zags, the whole shebang.

"Hey Tyr, next time we come up on another person bent on destroying us, just show them that. They'll run away with their tails between their legs."

"I believe you might be right in that assumption boy." Tyr said, wincing again.

"Well, enough with the horror show, lets keep going, eh?" Paris suggested.

"Definitely. I couldn't agree with you more," Harper replied as he started up again and turned left down a corrider.

After a long while of checking each room that they came to and finding only dust covers, it was a pleasent surprise when they opened the door to one of the rooms and reveal a garden with a pond in the backround. Harper looked up and saw a beautiful veiw of the sky. There were birds chirping and flying around. There was a gentle breeze, and he could feel the sun's heat on his skin. "Wow, this ship must be huge to hold all this," Harper said amazed.

"It's probably just a sophisticated computer program, simulating the look and feel of a garden on Earth." Harper was about to respone just as the Doctor's voice came over a hidden intercom.

"_Okay, I do believe I have it fixed, so come back to the control room when you're ready to leave._"

Both Harper and Parisindy looked content, so Tyr took it upon himsself to get them back to the control room. He grabbed Harper by the scruff of his t-shirt and dragged him out the door. A few moment's later he walked back in without Harper and glared at Paris. "Out." Paris just stuck her tongue out at him, then finally relented and left the room, Tyr close behind.

(Back in the Control Room)

"Ah, I'm glad to see that you didn't get lost. Now, I have it set so that you will all return back to your own seperate universes, unforunately you'll have to stop at one universe first. Let me tell you, this is the most horrible universe that you can go to.You will be scarred for life emontionaly. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Dude, it can't be all that bad? What is it? Daleks? Borg? Britney Spears?" Paris shuddered at the mention of the last name.

"Worse, its D-" The doctor was interupted as Harper leaned back on the switch and both Harper, Tyr and Parisindy disappeared into thin air. "Oh no." The doctor said worriedly. "They're doomed."

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"Mhuftffgh"

"Paris, where are you?" Harper called trying to sit up.

"MHUFGTFE!"

"What? Oh, oops, sorry." Harper stood up off of Paris.

"Where the heck are we?" Paris asked. "It looks like a cartoon jungle, eh?"

"It doesn't smell like a jungle, it smells like paper." Tyr said looking around carefully. Somthing caught his attention, and soon he, Harper, and Paris were jogging through the cardboard trees and paper grass.

"Good Job everyone! Now we have to help Boots across the river! Everyone say swim! Can you say swim? Swim! Swim! Swim!"

"Oh no," Paris stopped, "We have to get away! Or we'll be doomed to listen to this until we get out of this universe!" She tugged on Harper's arm and they started to leave just as Dora made her way over to them.

"What's this Boots? Some new friends! Do you want to play with us?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Paris yelled and started to run as fast as she could away from her.

(blip)

Paris found herself running straight to her car. (thump) "Ow." She looked around, everything seemed okay. No evil Dora walking around asking innane questions. "Whew, to bad though. I didn't get to say good-bye to Harper and Tyr. Maybe it was just a dream. Hmmm..." Paris unlocked her car and got in. She looked over at the passengers side and saw her 24-pack of soda. Paris reached in a pulled out a soda and opened it absent mindedly. As she started the car, she looked down at it. Paris couldn't believe her eyes when she saw a Sparky-Cola.

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I know it was short, and I'm sorry :(

But I've been busy working on three different crossover stories. Two of which haven't been released yet, and one is being tested out. I hope you enjoyed this short fic, I know I had fun writing it :D


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